Or maybe they do. What do I know, eh? As my partner is so fond of saying, horses for courses. So, if your dream NYE is a big night out (or in), then I’m sorry: this must suck for you, and I hope you find a way to make it the celebration you want it to be.

Personally, though, I’m a fan of this new ruling, because it means that I’m no longer doomed to disappoint someone, anyone, potentially even everyone this NYE.

Instead, it’s given me permission to keep my 31 December as cosy as I possibly can. Which means that I’ll be eating good food (a lot of it), streaming all the Christmas films I missed on Netflix, running through the songs on my 2020 playlist, and cracking out a few boardgames. I’ll no doubt be partaking in a Zoom quiz of some kind, too, because there’s been one every Sunday night since the dawn of the first lockdown in my family.

And, as the clock hands creep closer to midnight and this burning dumpster fire of a year ends, too, I’ll raise a glass in front of the TV and do my utmost best to remember the words to Auld Lang Syne. I’ll send messages to the people I love the most. I’ll consider what the year ahead means for me, without the pressure of making up a resolution on the spot.

Best of all, though? Well, I’ll go to bed and wake up feeling refreshed, happy, and with zero need to pour over last night’s bank statement. Unless I wind up spending more on my takeaway than I mean to, of course.

Happy new year!

New Year’s Eve pub trips banned: “am I the only one who’s happy NYE is cancelled?”