“Every sex and love addict acts out in a different way,” Garza says. “If you feel that you are making destructive choices around sex and you’ve tried to stop, but feel powerless and out of control, you may want to investigate a little more.”

Sex and relationship charity Relate agree, describing sex addiction as any sexual activity that feels “out of control”.

For many people, having multiple sexual partners, engaging in casual sex, masturbating or watching pornography is completely fine, and doing any of these things doesn’t make you a sex addict.

But if your behaviour is causing you distress, feels uncontrollable or is having a severe impact on your life and relationships, you may be experiencing sexual addiction.

You may be addicted to sex if you experience any of the following:

Feeling that the behaviour is out of control.
Believing that there may be severe consequences if you continue but carry on any way.
Persistently pursuing destructive high risk sexual activities, want to stop but are unable to do so.
Needing more and more of the sexual activity in order to experience the same level of high followed by feelings of shame and depression.
Experiencing intense mood swings around repeated sexual activity.
Spending more and more time planning, engaging in or regretting and recovering from sexual activities.
Neglecting social or work commitments in favour of the sexual activity.
Repeatedly trying to stop and perhaps stay stopped for a while, only to start up again.

“Sex and love addiction cannot be measured, so it’s less about how many partners you’ve had sex with or how many hours of porn you watch and much more about how you feel about those things,” Garza also advises. She recommends looking into Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) – even for those “who don’t believe in a higher power or have no interest in doing the 12 steps”.

“These meetings offer a community of support where you can meet like-minded individuals who will listen to your struggles without judgement,” she continues. “They may even offer a nod of recognition, and I don’t think there’s anything more healing than connecting with another person who understands or is willing to try to understand.”

“SLAA meetings are practically everywhere around the world, but if you can’t find one in your neighbourhood, you can certainly attend meetings online.”

Images: Getty Images / Rachael Lee-Stroud / Josh Peterson / Anna Sastres / Unsplash

This is what sex addiction is like – by a woman who has it