Early Saturday morning, as I sat scrolling through my Instagram feed, I saw the devastating news that Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court – had passed away after years of battling cancer. Much like everyone else, I was stricken with immense grief that the world had lost a true force of nature – a feminist to the core who spent her life fighting tirelessly for gender equality. As I continued to absorb the steady stream of tributes dominating my feed, I realised another feeling beginning to swell within me: the fear of what Ginsburg’s death would mean for the future of America.

I’m probably not alone when I say that I’ve spent the year of 2020 swimming – more like drowning? – in a sea of uncertainty. Concern for the safety of my family during a pandemic (I’m an American based in London so being miles away from my family has been tough), anxiety over my job security in a struggling economy, utter confusion from the government’s mixed-messages on social distancing guidelines, anger from the senseless murders of Black people at the hands of police brutality. And now, the looming election in November that will decide whether our country will be stuck with four more years of a leader whose sexist and racist remarks will undoubtedly continue to tear apart the country’s already divided citizens (like we need another reason to keep us up at night).

I’ve spent the last four years trying to rinse my mouth of the bitter distaste that Trump leaves with every tweet. His oppressive rants have splintered the country and with just six weeks until election day, I can’t help but feel (selfishly, I know) that Ginsburg’s death could not have come at a worse time. Losing one of the (very) few admirable figures in government, one who I felt was on my side, is a hit not only to women, the Black community and the LGBTQ+ community, but to humanity in general. Ginsburg was our reassurance that someone who had our interests at heart had a seat at the table. With her on the bench, we could rest easy knowing that government policies would never stray too far or that our country would regress to the Stone Age – back when archaic notions such as segregation and bans on same-sex marriage were actually acceptable. What has made me revert back to my nail-biting days is whether Trump will replace Ginsburg before his term is over – or worse, if his term continues.

“Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death makes me fear for America’s future”