Egg-freezing stories by people of colour are rare, but I realised that for myself when I had a clinic get my name wrong. Since being enrolled in The School of Uncommon Names, you’re used to creating Starbucks pseudonyms. But, while I’m top of the class for misspelt names, I didn’t expect it to happen in healthcare. When you pay thousands of pounds and hear about egg mix-ups, you expect the basics to be right.

Women of colour pay both the gender and race tax. These ‘minor’ errors hint at major issues and reflect the way people of colour are treated in healthcare. The Women and Equalities Committee found that racism plays a key role in health disparities. When maternal deaths are compared to white women, Asian women are twice as likely to die and Black women are four times as likely to die.

For me, TFP Oxford Fertility Clinic was the one. I had butterflies in my stomach when I started my egg-freezing journey, and I was ready to start a long-term relationship. But I’m also aware that a postcode lottery is at play – since there could be half a dozen visits over two weeks, the one I chose is conveniently close to my parents’ home.

When I had my first consultation, the doctor shared what could go right and wrong. Most importantly, they told me that the success rate – the chances of going from egg freezing to live birth – is only 18%. When I finished the call, I cried.

I phoned a friend and they responded in a matter-of-fact way: “If you had an 18% chance of getting struck by lightning if you walked outside, would you go outside?” That helped me to put it into perspective. “No,” I blubbered.

The emotionally complicated reality of freezing your eggs