When I call out the comments, I receive messages telling me that the content I post is “too revealing”. But why should I, or anybody for that matter stop posting photos in order to dodge the male gaze? Most women who post lingerie photos online do it for the good and empowerment of themselves or other women, or they may do it as a way of making money whether this be modelling for brands or for their own Instagram account.

Plus-size fashion blogger Emily Crosby says she often receives sexualised messages on Instagram, even though she only posts fully-clothed photographs. “Despite my refusal to post content that might encourage this type of message, It seems that even by just existing on Instagram as a fat woman (no matter what I post), I get unwanted sexual messages and pictures.” Emily says she has received all kinds of messages from men on Instagram, some of which greatly affected her. From men wanting her to sit on their face, to other men telling her how deep they want to put their dick in her belly button. This has prevented Emily from posting photographs in lingerie through the fear of the sexualisation she will likely receive.

Multi-award winning blogger and author of Fattily Ever After, Stephanie Yeboah spoke to Stylist about her experience online as a Black plus-size woman. She said that “when existing in a fat body, there are people who can have the tendency to dehumanise you to the point of being seen as a mere sexual object, something strange and foreign.”

As a Black plus-size woman, the feeling of being an object is exacerbated, Stephanie explained “when you add my Blackness onto my weight, it further intensifies the insidious curiosities of non-Black people. To them, we are seen as nothing but something foreign, feral and challenging to colonise sexually.”

“Sexualised or shunned”: what it’s like to be a fat woman on social media today