Charlotte*, 29, single

I am a selfish mum, and I have little shame in admitting that. While I’ll always endeavour to do everything that will benefit my son and his upbringing, I think it’s incredibly important to never lose your identity and the things you love. Being a single mum, my son has had to adapt to my life and I often take him to things that don’t revolve around him – beauty appointments, dog walks, work and lunch with friends. My life hasn’t really changed at all.

People often comment on how ‘easy’ he is, but I don’t think he was necessarily born that way; he’s just become such a well-rounded and happy boy who doesn’t expect the world to revolve around him. I don’t think for a minute there’s a right or wrong way to be a parent, but you don’t have to completely change as a person to be a mum.

“I’m often ashamed to tell people why we’ve opted to be child-free”

Alisha*, 40, married

I’m not having children, and I’m often ashamed to tell people the reasons why we’ve opted to be child-free because people will think I’m selfish. But in reality, I love a lot of sleep. I love my lifestyle and, at the end of the day, I don’t want to give all of my time to raising a child. Ultimately, I think this view is incredibly unselfish – because I know the reality is that it would be selfish of me to have kids on a whim just to experience it. I think I would be a bad, grumpy mother.

Access all your Stylist+ articles in one place on the all-new Stylist app. Download on the Apple App Store or Google Play.

“I’m scared I’m too selfish to be a mother”