Thanks to impossible societal standards, pretty much every woman in the world knows what her life is supposed to look like. To quote the infamous rhyme: “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes mummy with a baby carriage.”

With so many movies and television shows cashing in on this narrative, though, we don’t just know that we should have tied the knot before we’re… ooh, let’s say, 30 years old? No, we also know exactly what the proposal should look like – right down to the very last detail. Someone should get down on one knee, obviously, and make a bold declaration of love. The other person should be surprised to tears, before graciously accepting a diamond ring. And everyone gathered in the vicinity (because, as we’ve learned from the likes of Love Actually, the question should be popped in front of as many people as possible) should offer up a smattering of applause.

But what if your proposal isn’t a bit like that – or, god forbid, you don’t get engaged at all? Well, then you’re wrong, apparently. Sorry.

That’s why it is so refreshing Amy Schumer has used her own “worthless” proposal story to underline the fact that reality is very, very different from the stories we’ve been force-fed by the media.

Taking to the stage for her opening monologue on Saturday Night Live, the comedian began by detailing her and Chris Fischer’s surprise wedding, which took place earlier this year.

And, more importantly, how her life is different now that she can no longer draw on her dating experiences for comedy.

“Some of you may have heard I got married this year,” she said.

“Some people are like, ‘What are you going to talk about now in your stand-up? All you talked about was getting railed’”.

Schumer continued: “I’m a little sad. I’m never going to get a ‘u up?’ text again. Not like they were rolling in, but it was nice to know someone was thinking about me.

“I once got a ‘u up?’ text and I wrote the guy back, and he texted me, ‘Sorry, wrong text.’ I was like, ‘Me too, I’ll just cancel my Uber, who cares?’”

Amy Schumer divides Twitter with story about her partner’s “worthless” proposal