Ariana Grande on her 2018: “I have no idea what I‘m doing”

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Emily Reynolds
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“This has been one of the best years in my career and one of like the worst years in my life”.

Ariana Grande’s had one hell of a year – something she acknowledged as she picked up this year’s Billboard Woman of the Year award last night.

Wearing a short lavender dress – which she jokingly described on her Twitter as ‘loofah of the year’ – Grande accepted the award to rapturous applause. 

“This is really special. I want to say that I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years in my career and one of like the worst years in my life.”

“I’m just saying that because I feel like a lot of people would look at someone in my position right now I guess; Woman of the Year, an artist that could be at her peak, reaching her you know, whatever, and think, you know, ‘She’s really got her shit together; she’s really on it; she has got it all’,” she continued.

“I do, but as far as my personal life goes I really have no idea what the f**k I am doing.”

This year, of course, saw Grande split from fiancé Pete Davidson, a romance and breakup that made thousands of headlines. 

It’s even referenced in her latest single, ‘thank u, next’, an ode to ex-boyfriends including Davidson and Mac Miller, who tragically died earlier this year following a drug overdose. Grande was forced to contend with tabloid headlines that implicitly – and sometimes explicitly – blamed her for Miller’s death. 

It’s also been little over a year since the Manchester bombings, during which a Grande concert was targeted. Earlier this year she revealed that therapy had “saved her life so many times”. 

“u don’t have to be in constant pain & u can process trauma,” she tweeted in November. “i’ve got a lot of work to do but it’s a start to even be aware that it’s possible.”

“It’s been a very conflicting one,” Grande concluded. “I just want to say if you’re someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you’re not alone in that.”

“I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I have given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself this year.”

Images: Getty / Instagram


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Emily Reynolds

Emily Reynolds is a journalist and author based in London. Her first book, A Beginner’s Guide to Losing Your Mind, came out in February 2017 with Hodder & Stoughton. She is currently working on her second.