What has surprised you the most about motherhood? Just realising that it is all going to be OK. I remember leaving the hospital thinking: ‘I have no idea what I am doing. I have a life in my hands and I’m not equipped to do this, because I don’t have the knowledge I need to take care of the most precious, fragile thing in the world.’ It felt like being a passenger on a plane and being told: “By the way, now you are going to be piloting the plane.” But then you take her home and you figure it out. Sometimes you don’t figure it out and even that is a whole new experience.

What is the most important lesson you want your daughter to learn? A love of family. My family has kept me steady, whatever has happened in my life. They’ve been the constant in my life and when that love is constant, the highs and lows don’t derail you.

How do you get anything done when your daughter is so small? It is tough because when you are looking at your child and she’s laughing, it’s hard to do anything else. And it means making people wait while you feed your baby. That sucks, because everyone thinks you are just being a diva. My parents [Ernie and Elain] are pretty much the nannies. They raised five kids, so they know what they are doing. They haven’t moved in, but they visit for long periods of time and then they’ll go away and make us beg them to come back [laughs].

You were pregnant when filming The Age Of Adaline. What did that bring to the experience? I had her in my tummy then and it was significant for me shooting this film and thinking of the mother/daughter relationship. Adaline’s husband has died; her daughter is 80-something and is about to die. There’s so much pain that she has experienced by being young forever, and you realise that life happens exactly as it should. Time is only valuable because of love, and without it, time is a trap.

The Age Of Adaline looks at ageing and holding on to youth, is that pertinent to you? Right now I am really looking forward to getting older. The older I’ve got, the more enriched my life has become, from a great childhood with my family, to moving to New York, getting married and having a baby. But ask me in 10 years when I get my crow’s feet… or maybe two years, oh my god! [Laughs]. I have learned that until you experience something, it’s hard to get on your soapbox and talk about it.

Your website Preserve is very traditional, would you consider yourself quite old fashioned? Yes I am. I only listen to old music. I love Billie Holiday, Chet Baker, Edith Piaf and Josephine Baker. I love fashion of times past, I like modern trends too, but I’m not good about keeping up with them.

Do you think there’s been a sea change, where it’s OK to admit you want to stay at home now? It is great to be a mother and a professional and a wife and a daughter, but to choose only one of those things is also incredible. I love being with my niece and baking with her; I also love it when my niece wants to get out there and take the boys down. We’ll take them down together in a game of soccer or go-kart racing. I like being a woman and everything that means for me.

Blake Lively on juggling work and motherhood, a life-changing book and her plans to go to Harvard