Have you heard from an ex, or are you thinking about reaching out to one? We spoke to relationship expert Laura Yates to ask about the best ways to respond to being Marleyed…

Is it a good idea to Marley an ex over Christmas…?

It really depends on the nature of the breakup. If a decent amount of time has passed and there are no romantically led emotions there from both sides, it can be harmless to reach out. In most times though, this isn’t really how things go. What’s important to remember is to try and look at contacting your ex from the same perspective as you would if it wasn’t Christmas.

After the buzz of Christmas is over, you’ll probably be left with a bit of an emotional hangover. Depending on the response (or lack of), it can completely ruin the time, which would be better spent soaking up the love of family, friends and the festivities.

If someone hurt you, if you had any doubts about the relationship when you were in it or if the breakup happened for reasons that there’s just no coming back from, Christmas won’t change that. It will only perpetuate all those feelings and emotions you’ve probably worked really hard to heal from. Being the season of goodwill isn’t enough to let those boundaries slip.

What should you do if your ex tries to Marley you and you’re not interested?

You don’t have to reply. It sends a much clearer message than responding out of guilt or because it’s Christmas, and it’s also kinder to your ex (especially if you were the one that did the breaking up) because it doesn’t give them false hope. If you do want to respond, you can be graceful yet detached. Keep the conversation very limited to just one message back and avoid getting into anything deep and meaningful.

If you were on the brunt end of the breakup or if responding back is going to cause you any feelings of uneasiness, hurt, confusion or anxiety, not responding says enough in itself and your ex will get the message.

Either way, just because it’s Christmas, it doesn’t mean your ex has the ability to undo any boundaries you have worked hard to put in place for yourself. You have the freedom to engage in conversation or not. Do what’s best for you!

Why 'Marleying' is the Christmas dating trend we all need to avoid