Ellen DeGeneres is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the world’s most beloved chat show hosts, actors, and TV personalities. She is loved by fans of all ages (not least for voicing Dory in Disney’s Finding Nemo) and was last year awarded a Medal of Freedom by former President Barack Obama.

However, in 1997 – shockingly recently – DeGeneres was the victim of a heavy homophobic backlash after she publicly came out as gay in her sitcom, Ellen. The show was cancelled, and she found herself unable to find a job for several years, which led to her suffering from depression.

Now, in a new interview nearly 20 years to the day that the episode first aired, DeGeneres says she knew there was a risk to telling the truth, but she wasn’t prepared for the sheer volume of hate – and says of that time: “Nobody really understood how dark it got for me.”

Ellen DeGeneres on how homophobic attacks damaged her mental health: “Nobody understood how dark it got”