Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi’s secret to long-term love is impossibly simple

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Kayleigh Dray
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As Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi celebrate their 10th anniversary, we examine why their marriage was built to last.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have been one of Hollywood’s golden couples since 2005, after they fell for one another backstage at VH1’s Big in ‘04 awards in December 2004.

“When I saw her that night [at the VH1 awards show] we started talking and that’s that. We just were kind of supposed to be together,” de Rossi put it to The Advocate.

The sentiment was echoed by DeGeneres in a People sit-down three months later. “It’s the first time that I’ve known in every cell of my being that I’m with somebody for the rest of my life,” she declared.And, despite what regular tabloid reports might claim, the couple say they are every bit as happy today as they are when they tied the knot back in 2008.

“We were just supposed to be together.”

However, while the couple – who tied the knot in 2008 – view one another as soulmates, they have never pretended that their relationship doesn’t take work.

Indeed, in a recent interview with Good Housekeeping, DeGeneres has reflected on her marriage vows – and praised her wife for helping her to feel so content with her life.

“Portia understands me completely,” says the presenter and Finding Dory star. “In our vows, she recited a quote – ‘It is good to be loved. It is profound to be understood’ – and to me, that’s everything.

“What ‘I love you’ really means is ‘I understand you,’ and she loves me for everything that I am. She supports me and makes me happy.”

So how do the couple – both of whom enjoy busy careers – make time for one another?

By never compromising on one particular routine, that’s how.

With multiple careers, DeGeneres is one of the first to admit that it can be all too easy to let work take over your life. However, the interview reveals she and de Rossi have set a non-negotiable rule in place – and it’s an incredibly simple one, too.

Every single night, no matter what, the pair have dinner together – and on really good nights, they watch The Bachelorette, too. Genius.

It’s not the first time that DeGeneres has reminded the world not to take their loved ones for granted.

In a 2016 interview with People, the comedian said: “Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky’.

“Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there.”

DeGeneres, who wed Australian actress de Rossi back in 2008, also spoke about how the couple make sure to put each other first.

“Our priorities are each other too,” she said. “If we had kids, then I’m sure they would be, but we are. And that’s important.”

Images: Rex Features


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Kayleigh Dray

Kayleigh Dray is Stylist’s digital editor-at-large. Her specialist topics include comic books, films, TV and feminism. On a weekend, you can usually find her drinking copious amounts of tea and playing boardgames with her friends.