First off, your boyfriend has been honest with you, when he could easily have withheld this information.

Don’t make him feel as if he made a mistake confiding in you about something that he knew you would not be comfortable with. Don’t terrify him into never telling you anything again.

Second, you use the word ‘exploit’. This is interesting. But many would argue it’s not accurate. The word ‘exploit’ implies the control lies in the man’s hands – it suggests that this was not a consensual interaction and took place against the woman’s will. Prostitution in Amsterdam is legal. By suggesting he has exploited this woman directly denies her and all other sex workers agency in their actions, which some feminists would take issue with.

The feminist lobby has long debated the topic of sex work, battling between two opposing views of prostitution: the feminist ‘sex wars’.

The first school of thought is the Abolitionist perspective. Abolitionists argue that prostitution is a direct result of the patriarchal order and should be made illegal. It posits that sex workers are in a subordinate position and thus prostitution is an extension of rape - not a mutual and consenting act – as the majority of women are in the sex industry as a result of ill-fated circumstances. Eighty percent of women working as prostitutes have experienced physical threats whilst doing the job, so men who pay for them are therefore seen by Abolitionist feminists as buying into an industry that is responsible for violence against women.

The second school of thought, aligned with many third wave feminists of the 1990s, sees women working as prostitutes as the agents of their actions. They are frustrated by the portrayal of sex workers as victims. This group believes that prostitution is an autonomous career decision and that sex work should be legalised to protect women within the industry.

You need to figure out your own view of prostitution before you can begin to reconcile your image of your boyfriend.

'My boyfriend slept with a prostitute before we met. Can I get past this?'