Everyone who has been through a break-up knows that feeling of untangling yourself from someone else’s life. How it can be awful and messy and yet also, in its own way, wonderful to separate your strands from theirs and move forward on your own.

It’s a painful process, yes, but in a new interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music’s Beats 1, singer FKA Twigs has spoken about why the breakdown of a relationship can actually be an empowering thing.

“Like when you’re with somebody, your lives become very entwined, with like your friends and family, your routine,” she explained. “And then the unmeshing is like you have to really find out – well I had to really find out who I was. But I’ve always known who I am, but it’s just kind of discovering who I was in adult crisis… I feel like I’ve never known myself better.”

FKA Twigs’ reflections on her exes perfectly sum up why break-ups can be empowering