Many of us vow to stay friends with our exes, but it can be hard to stay true to that value in the ensuing messiness of everyday life.

Paltrow’s messages show that it is entirely possible to not only respect your former partner, but also express love for them - and your current partner - without the two sentiments coming into conflict.

“I think we are better as friends than we are [married]. We are very close and supportive of one another,” the Oscar-winning actor said in a previous interview, looking back on her 10-year marriage to Martin.

“It hasn’t always been easy for us because you have good days and bad days as you do in life with anything, but I feel lucky because Chris has been willing to push himself for the sake of the kids and help me co-create this new family.”

The idea of staying friends with someone after a break-up is a “very pervasive phenomenon” but it’s not always successful, says US-based psychology researcher Rebecca Griffith, who has studied the topic via detailed interviews.

Her work found that exes who stayed friends together the best did so through a combination of practical motivators (for example, where there are children involved) and a mutual desire to be civil to one another.

Lead image: Getty

Gwyneth Paltrow's loving message to her ex Chris Martin is a lesson in break-up dignity