Musician Halsey just made a couple of good points about how people expect us to behave in relationships and friendships.
At last year’s American Music Awards, Halsey made a relatable acceptance speech about seeking external validation. “Most of these awards really aren’t what they seem at all,” she said, showing that she’s come to realise that award wins are not what really matters.
It wasn’t the first time the artist has raised powerful points about the issues that weigh heavy on our minds. She’s also spoken out about celebrating her body hair, the decision to freeze her eggs and how to deal with male managers. And she’s candidly talked about how her attitudes to friendships with women changed while growing up.
It’s that last subject, relationships and friendships, that Halsey has talked about again in an indepth Guardian interview. She says she is fed up of not being able to feel “bored” or “exhausted” around people because they expect her to be “spontaneous” and “impulsive”. That’s why she’s retiring from “changing some boring guy’s life”.
Speaking about past relationships where this has happened, she says: “Here I am – impulsive, spontaneous, kind of damaged, meeting a guy, a girl, whoever, and they’d say: ‘I’ve never met anyone like you, I’m becoming a different person.’ I was scared to be bored, scared to be exhausted. This year, I put my foot down. I don’t care if everybody thinks I’m boring. I’m not gonna fucking kill myself.”
Anyone who has ever felt they have to play a certain role in a friendship or relationship will no doubt relate to Halsey’s honest words.
Halsey also revealed that she feels this reputation for being outspoken and exciting has led to people not wanting to be her friend because she is “drama by association”. This has led to Halsey feeling “disappointed” by some female singers in the #MeToo era, which she is an active voice in.
“Nobody wants to be my friend,” she says. “They’re scared I’m gonna pop off about something. I’m drama by association. I put myself out there with my peers; I don’t know if people really ever wanted to do the same with me. So I stopped wasting my energy.”
It just goes to show that whether a woman is “too boring” or “too outspoken”, she still can’t seem to win either way in 2020.