People

“I’m sorry I demanded respect”: Mindy Kaling reveals how she offsets her assertiveness

Posted by
Harriet Hall
Published

As women- and feminists – we constantly hear how the female population is judged for being ‘bossy’ but then criticised for tip-toeing around subject when they try to soften the blow, with words such as ‘just’.

So how do we toe this delicate line of female language?

Mindy Kaling, executive producer, writer, star of the The Mindy Project and woman after our own hearts, has revealed her chosen technique.

Speaking at the Women in the World Summit in New York this week, she said:

“I am very decisive, but I also care about what people think of me.”

Kaling, 36, says that she makes certain she leaves a room before she has time to question her decision or her countenance.

But, when it comes to those tricky types who are not quite ready for a self-assured woman, Kaling has another technique.

Mindy Kaling with The Mindy Project co-star, Chris Messina

Mindy Kaling with The Mindy Project co-star, Chris Messina

“In LA, here is a cottage industry of apology gifts you can send for being too assertive as a woman,” she says.

“My whole thing is, I’m very assertive, even to the point of being brusque, and then I’ll just send cupcakes with a note that says, ‘I’m sorry that I was so assertive. Love, Mindy.’”

Or, if cupcake isn’t your bag, Mindy has other options:

“You can send a puppy party for demanding respect. ‘I’m sorry I demanded respect at that meeting. Here’s a puppy party. Love, Mindy.’”

The actor and producer did caution women not to adopt this technique too early on in their careers, though.

“You can’t employ that. But maybe when you’re older you can,” she says.

#SorryNotSorry

Watch the interview below.