Don’t suffer in silence – there’s so much support available for people going through IVF

Maybe you don’t want to divulge that you’re undergoing IVF to anyone. Maybe you want to tell the world. Whatever your preference, you’re not alone: one in six UK couples face fertility issues. Treatment is physically, mentally and emotionally draining, so having a solid support network is essential. If you can’t or don’t wish to talk to your nearest and dearest, podcasts such as Big Fat Negative, Fertility Life Raft and The Fertility Podcast, plus Instagram’s TTC community, are a lifeline. Fertility websites, festivals and shows are also informative and supportive. And therapy. It’s refreshing to confide in a stranger who won’t shower you with sympathy and gives you a new, neutral perspective on your problems.

There are alternate routes to parenthood

If IVF fails and you decide to draw a line under it (and remember that it’s not a competition: if you call time after 2 rounds instead of 10, it doesn’t mean you’re weak), it’s not the end of the journey. Donor conception, surrogacy, fostering and adoption are some alternatives to consider. This may not be how you’d envisaged building your family, but if you’re not willing to wave goodbye to your dream just yet, try a different tack. You will, however, have to deal with the fact that your child may not be yours biologically, which might be an insurmountable challenge for some. In which case I advise reading Meant To Be by Lisa Faulker as she speaks about her IVF experience, adoption fears and how she allayed them. I devoured it in the days after my third cycle failed and it gave me much-needed hope.

IVF: “Things I wish I’d known – 2 years, 3 clinics and 4 unsuccessful cycles later”