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Jessie J’s beautiful self-care advice is an important read for anyone nursing a broken heart

“Walk away from people or situations that trigger parts of you that are unhealthy,” advises Jessie J.

Jessie J is currently going through a break up – and a public one at that.

However, while tabloids would have you believe that the singer is sat at home mourning the demise of her and Channing Tatum’s relationship, Jessie has actually been busy channeling some serious positivity and gratitude. Indeed, as we hurtle towards 2020 and a brand-new decade, the musician has been reflecting on her successful career, and the big wins she’s experienced over the last 10 years.

Now, though, in an unprecedented Instagram post, Jessie has shared some of the most empowering and understanding advice we’ve ever seen on heartbreak, loneliness and grief.

On the eve of 29 December, just hours after admitting she was struggling with “delayed emotions” in her Instagram Stories, Jessie shared a silhouetted image of herself above a well-lit cityscape.

In the caption, the musician has addressed all those who are struggling emotionally this holiday season.

“Time is the gift,” she reminds us. “Time is the fear, the magic, the memories, the change, the pain, the healing. [So] go somewhere where your world feels and looks small. Gain perspective. Lay in the sea. Walk to the top of a mountain. Drive to view point in a park. Look up at the stars. This isn’t to make you feel like your problems or sadness or the feelings you feel are not valid but to know you are NEVER Alone.”

Warming to her theme, Jessie continues: “Billions of people around the world are just trying to smile and mean it. Are actively working out who they are. Are missing someone they have lost. Are feeling worthless. [But] you are all loved, [and] we are all trying to love and accept the stories in our lives that make us desperately want to fast forward or rewind time, when all we have is the now.”

Jessie adds: “The puzzle pieces of life [are] sometimes put together in the wrong places, [and] they can hurt until tended to. [So] take the time to put those puzzle pieces in the right place. Tend to you. Be vulnerable. Be there for you, and be there for people around you and lift each other up.

“Break the cycle. Be open. Talk. Be there for yourself. Recognise the patterns of behaviour you have that can cause some of the hurt. Look inwards. Look outwards. Walk away from parts of yourself and people or situations that trigger parts of you that are unhealthy. Be honest.”

The musician finishes by sending “love to anyone who feels alone”.

“We need you around,” she says. “You are stronger than you know, and are capable of finding your happy time again. Talk to someone who can give you professional advice. Honour your pain to be heard by the right ears.

“It’s your time, so take your time.”

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Jessie J’s words will certainly strike a chord with anyone who has been feeling low and depressed during the holidays – a time when so many seem to be living the “perfect” life on social media.

As Dr Sarah Brewer, medical director of Healthspan, previously told Stylist: “Sites such as Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat can have a direct negative impact on feelings of loneliness, anxiety and low mood. In fact, studies have shown the more time people spend on Facebook, the lonelier and more dissatisfied they become with their own life. On the other hand, people who limited their use of social media to 10 minutes per platform, per day, experienced significant reductions in loneliness and depression over a three week period than those who continued using social media as normal.” 

Brewer adds: “Limit your use of social media as everyone else always seem to be having more fun than you.” 

Even more important than monitoring your social media usage, though, is talking to those around you about what you’re going through.

Instead of hiding yourself away and avoiding friends and family,do as Jessie J advises and try to reach out, help them to understand what you’re going through and lean on them for support. And remember that helplines such as the Samaritans (116 123) can provide free emotional support for anyone going through a difficult time, and their phone lines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.

Mind also provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. You can find more information on their website.

In a crisis, call 999. 

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