People

Joan Rivers’ funniest and most outrageous one-liners

Joan Rivers, who will be remembered for her acerbic wit and outrageous one-liners, has died aged 81.

The pioneering comedian never regained consciousness after falling into a coma, following a cardiac arrest whilst undergoing throat surgery.

A trailblazer for female comedians, the comic got her big break when she first starred on The Tonight Show, then hosted by Johnny Carson, in 1965.

However, after Joan decided to host her own rival show, Carson banned her from ever appearing on The Tonight Show. In fact, it was only this year, with Jimmy Fallon taking over the reigns, that she was allowed back on.

In recent weeks she encountered controversy after ranting to a TMZ reporter about the Palestinian Israeli conflict.

The comedian was caught on camera saying: "When you declare war, you declare war. They started it, we now don't care whose dead. You're dead, you deserve to be dead."

She moved to clarify her statement a week later, in which she said that she had meant to refer to Hamas, instead of Palestinians, when she was discussing the war.

Of course, that's not all she was famous for. Her career spanned five decades and has seen her go from stand-up, to commenting on red carpet fashion and also starring in her own reality TV series with her daughter Melissa Rivers.

Joan was married twice. Her first marriage to James Sanger, was annulled after six months. Her second marriage was to producer Edgar Rosenberg, to whom she was married from 1965 until 1987, when he sadly committed suicide.

Joan is survived by her daughter, Melissa and her beloved grandson, Edgar Cooper.

It was ultimately her wicked sense of humour that we'll remember her for, so in tribute to Joan we've compiled some of her most outrageous one-liners ever.

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “All I ever heard when I was a kid was, ‘Why can’t you be more like your cousin Sheila?’ And Sheila had died at birth.”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “Grandchildren can be so fucking annoying. How many times can you go, ‘And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink’? It’s like talking to a supermodel.”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    On supermodel Heidi Klum: "The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens."

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for "Best Special Effects.""

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds"

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “All babies look like Renee Zellweger pushed against a glass window”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    “My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, 'Pick up, I know you’re there'”

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware"

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "I said to my husband, 'My boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything'"

  • Joan Rivers' funniest and most outrageous one-liners

    "No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card"