She is absolutely not here for the gossip mill.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in Hollywood possessing of no partner must be in want of a husband.
Thus it ever was, and thus it shall always be, which is why Kate Beckinsale – unabashedly, gloriously single Kate Beckinsale – has found herself at the center of an ever-churning rumor mill these past few months. Pretty much any man who passes through her orbit, whether it be her ex Michael Sheen (with whom she has a daughter) or Jack Whitehall or, most recently, comedian Pete Davidson, becomes the subject of gossip in the tabloid press.
The Davidson rumours emerged out of a Golden Globes after party this week, when Page Six spotted the Saturday Night Live star and former fiancé of Ariana Grande “flirting” with Beckinsale at a Netflix event.
“They were being very flirty together, they were sitting very close on the outside patio seating,” an unnamed “witness” told Page Six. “Kate had her hand on his knee and she kept laughing at all his jokes.”
You don’t say. A woman put her hand on a man’s knee? She laughed at the comments made by a man who is literally employed to be funny? They must be married immediately, call the priest!
The Page Six article went on to clarify that the pair were joined on that cosy outdoor patio by Davidson’s friend and plus one the rapper Machine Gun Kelly, and that Beckinsale arrived at the party with a female friend, but that these two alleged wing men and women kept ducking in and out of the party to top up their drinks, giving Beckinsale and Davidson ample alone time together.
It’s almost like this foursome were – stay with me here – attending a party and enjoying themselves so much they had to top up their tipples repeatedly. Shocking stuff.
Fast forward a little and Page Six adds the pair left separately but at around the same time, conclusive evidence that their eventual final destinations must have been the same place. (Actually, Davidson went next door to the HBO after party and Beckinsale went home, but let’s not quibble over geography.) There you have it: a new star couple is born.
But not everyone is rushing to send their congratulations to the happy pair. After sharing a throwback picture of her mother in a pair of micro hotpants and knee-high boots on Instagram, a fan berated Beckinsale for her recent choice in partners. “Dear heavens, Kate. Not Pete Davidson,” the fan commented.
Beckinsale fired back instantly: “No that’s my mother. Easy mistake.”
Happily, Beckinsale seems like the kind of woman who doesn’t set much store by what is said about her in the tabloids, which is a very good thing.
But it’s worth remembering that just because a woman in Hollywood – or, indeed, a woman in the world – sits on a patio with someone, or touches their knee, or laughs at their jokes, or leaves a party within a 30 minute window of literally anyone else at that party, it does not mean that they are an item.
Keep living your life, Beckinsale, one knee-touch of a male comedian at a time.