Sarah Jessica Parker recently dashed all of our hopes when she confirmed that – despite the fact a script is in the bag – a third Sex and the City film is definitely not happening. It wasn’t long before her fellow co-stars were addressing the “disappointing” news themselves, with Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis admitting that they were “deeply frustrated” the final instalment of the trilogy would not see the light of day.
Kim Cattrall, however, soon found herself the subject of vicious tabloid rumours – with some media outlets claiming that plans for SATC3 were shelved as a result of the actors’ “outrageous demands”.
“Woke to a @MailOnline s**tstorm,” tweeted the Samantha Jones actor.
“The only ‘DEMAND’ I ever made was that I didn’t want to do a 3rd film....& that was back in 2016.”
Now, speaking to Piers Morgan on ITV’s Life Stories, Cattrall revealed that she hasn’t spoken to her former co-stars in a long time – and admitted that she was hurt when none of them reached out to her over reports that she was the reason the third SATC film had been shelved.
“That's another thing that's really disappointing is that nobody ever picks up the phone and tries to contact you and say, ‘How you doing?’ That would have been the way to handle it,” said Cattrall.
“And usually what happens in a healthy relationship is that someone, or a transaction for a job in my business, is that someone says, ‘Are you available?’ and you say ‘Yes' and here’s the job and you say ‘Yes but thank you very much but I’m sort of over here right now but thank you very much’ and that person turns to you and they say ‘That's great, good luck to you, I wish you the best.’”
Cattrall then noted: “That's not what happened here, this is, it feels like a toxic relationship.”
However, while she said that she doesn’t have all that much in common with Nixon, Davis and Parker (“They all have children and I am 10 years older,” she said), Cattrall added that she would love nothing more than to reconcile with her on-screen best friend, SJP.
“There is genuine affection there,” she said.
And, speaking of the HBO show, Cattrall added: “This is extenuating circumstances and in the past I've felt, wow, especially with the fans I don't want to in any shape or form ruin an ideal of it, because it does stand for empowerment and it does stand for women sticking up for each other, but not always.”
Cattrall’s forthrightness and honesty are just two of the qualities we admire most about her – and, in this instance, she has highlighted issues that we all share. After all, we’ve no doubt all experienced that aching feeling that comes from losing a formerly good friend. And, as a rule, it seems to be that talking and airing our frustrations is always a better solution than leaving things unsaid: those feelings hidden within that “toxic” silence are more likely to destroy a friendship than a flurry of fierce words.
So how do we go about mending a friendship that is already broken?
Doctor Irene S Levine, writing for Psychology Today, suggests a three-step action plan:
1) Assess what’s going on between you
“Try to think objectively and make sure you really want to mend the friendship,” she advises. “People change over time and not always in the same direction. Have the same problems recurred time after time? Maybe the bad chemistry or sense of imbalance between you has become so overwhelming that it is impossible to transcend.”
2) Talk about what happened – and apologise for your part
“If you know you were in the wrong, take responsibility for your mistake,” says Levine. “Tell your friend how important the relationship is to you… or, if she was in the wrong, practice the art of forgiveness.”
3) Give them space
Levine says that we need to “step back” after reaching out to a former friend and “be sensitive to her response”.
“Give it some time,” she advises, “and try again [at a later date if you need to].”
Above all else, Levine implores us to remember that “friendships have beginnings and endings” and that we shouldn’t view an ending as a failure.
“Sometimes women breathe a sigh of relief after an ambivalent or toxic friendship is over,” she reminds us. “And, no matter what happens, friendships are wonderful and life affirming. If we're lucky, each one provides us with new wisdom so they get better and better!”
You can read Levine’s full “friendship repair” plan here.
Images: Rex Features