We all know what grief looks like. Or, if you believe what you see on screen, what it is ‘supposed’ to look like. It’s Sandra Bullock in Practical Magic, burying herself under her duvet and refusing to leave her bed for weeks on end. It’s Hilary Swank in PS I Love You, finding it impossible to go about her day. It’s the single tear falling from Simba’s eye as he paws over Mufasa’s body in Disney’s The Lion King.

Except… well, it’s not. Grief is messy, and complicated, and utterly unique to the individuals experiencing it. And that’s something Laura Whitmore knows all too well.

The Love Island presenter recently spoke to Kate Thornton on her podcast White Wine Question Time. And Thornton, rather than assuming how Whitmore might be feeling in the weeks after the death of good friend Caroline Flack, opened by asking a simple question: “How are you?”

“I’m OK,” Whitmore replied. “I just got back from South Africa yesterday. I think it’s really good to talk. [But] part of me just wants to lock myself away and not talk to anyone.”

Laura Whitmore’s raw confession about grief teaches us a valuable lesson