On friendship

“Self esteem issues have always been a part of my life – I want everyone to love me. I’ve always backed other people more than myself. I lived my life without boundaries - people would take the piss and I allowed it to happen. Cancer puts a magnifying glass on who matters and who’s there for you. You see the people who don’t clap when you win and who, when you don’t fulfil a role, aren’t there anymore. Female friendship break-ups are worse than love break ups and I feel like friendships breaking down is the hardest thing to navigate as an adult.

I had to work out who was on my team and I’ve got more comfortable at articulating how I feel rather than assuming people just know. I got more vocal about saying I’m having a bad time, or that something they did made me feel like shit, and please can they not do it again? Be unapologetic about where you put your energy. My mum always says: you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea or you’d be a mug. Now I am more comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like me. Life is short but also very long. Cancer taught me life is too long to be surrounded by people who aren’t on your team - surround yourself with good birds!”

On her body

“Pre cancer I was a massive party girl and I abused my body in a physical way - too much alcohol, too much stress, not enough sleep. I wasn’t listening to it because I numbed it with drugs, alcohol and scrolling through other people’s lives. We are so guilty of being mean to ourselves and talking to ourselves in such a nasty manner. You go from being youthful, active, the life and soul of part, to what looks like potato staying in bed all day. I realised I didn’t appreciate it when I had it and instead I picked things apart. When you’re on chemo you’re knackered and even when you need a pee you can’t get up to go to the toilet.

Now I operate self acceptance. Sometimes that’s being in my underwear, getting my tits out. But it’s also about putting myself into a spotlight and saying ‘this is me!’ and accepting what my body looks like. It’s been about changing the dialogue in my head and catching myself when I say those negative things. Just put the dress on go and have a great day! No one cares as much as you do! Get out of your own head. It’s a radical act of self care: if you’re spending less energy thinking about that where can you put your energy.”

Lauren Mahon on the life enhancing benefits of not giving a fuck