Write a book! Work out like you’re training for a marathon! Craft something! Bake anything… self-isolation is just GREAT for personal development.

What do you mean you don’t feel like getting out of bed? You know the rules: get up like it’s a normal Monday, do yoga in the massive garden you probably don’t own, write meaningful letters to your friends, host date night with your partner, make your own clothes, cut your own hair… whatever you do, don’t just sit in front of the telly every night. Host a quiz! Sing a song! Wear a hat! Just DO something.

I for one am exhausted by this sabbatica… sorry, stint of self-isolation, already, and all I’ve done is read about most of this stuff on Instagram. Can it really be true that everyone else is having a jolly old time when all I seem able to do is drag my weary limbs out of bed, work around the clock and make 1,000 different meals for my kids every day? Admittedly, I’ve been dabbling with some Zoom quizzes and birthday drinks at the weekends, but if I’m being completely honest that’s really just a chance for me to make downing a bottle of wine socially acceptable while gazing at some people I love.

Lockdown: are social media showcases of productivity making us feel like failures?