Or is it pride – as Ving Rhames in Pulp Fiction so rightly put it, some years ago – f**king with you? Does shopping in the sales feel like an admission of fiscal failure? Do you think your friends will judge you for – what? Having less money than they do? Having less money than you ‘should’?

You know what to do with all of this. Let it go. Or let the friends go. They sound horrible.

Shop the sales, but judiciously. Don’t be a numbnut and buy biscuits and marzipan fruits that will be out of date by February. Though they would be the perfect passive aggressive present next year for someone who really makes your t*ts itch.

Maybe I should keep a few in store. Don’t buy something for a fashionista friend that she will know perfectly well was out a/w 2015 and should have had a stake put through its heart at midnight 1 January 2016. But do stock up on lovely, durable things, for lovely, durable friends. Who know you are not a golden unicorn and that you are trying to give them the greatest bang for your buck.

Then carry on picking stuff up throughout the year. See something perfect for your mother, father, sister, in-law, ex you’re still secretly in love with? Buy it. Put it in a cupboard. Tick them off the list. Concentrate now spare energies elsewhere. By Christmas, instead of fevered pressures to find ideal gifts for 800 people rushing and flapping at you from all sides, you will be free. Free to go to parties, have hangovers, buy, cook and devour gorgeous food, and still hold down a job. You will feel JOYFUL and FESTIVE instead of TEARFUL and ANGRY. Brilliant!

I always leave a few slots free on the slate for some seasonal goodies – my sister gets a make-up palette from the new releases for that Christmas, my dad gets a couple of just published hardbacks and so on, but the bulk of it is done by November. Once you’re into the syncopated swing of things and used to running 12 months ahead, life becomes easier than you can believe. Merry Christmas!

“Smug alert – Christmas shopping is in the bag!” Lucy Mangan on the benefits of buying presents early