"I’m currently staring at four invitations, boggling at each of them in turn. When I get to the last one, I go back to the beginning and start boggling anew.

The first is for a baby shower that, for the first time in my experience, came with a gift list. From a high-end shop. And the cheapest thing on there is £39.95. And the child will grow out of it, if my understanding of children is correct, within 10 minutes.

The second invite is for a birthday weekend away, which will cost me and my husband – were we to go, which we’re not, for reasons that will become clear by the end of this sentence – the better part of a grand for accommodation, food, travel, 48 hours of childcare and the tickets ALREADY BOOKED for entertainment once we (don’t) get there. Not to mention two days of our precious time.

The third is a wedding invitation that presents much the same problem as the birthday weekend, with the added fillip that we have already eaten well into our savings and annual leave allowances to attend the engagement, hen and two stag dos (the groom’s brother missed the first one) that preceded it.

It's a birthday, not an investment opportunity: Lucy Mangan on why celebrations have become so expensive