We’re all freelance in similar fields and try to have each other’s backs as a kind of informal union. This shared knowledge has given me the confidence to push for a bigger fee many times, and I encourage you all to do the same in any similar situation with any group of friends you trust enough.

But the friends a little further out comprise women who don’t admit to payrises (either so their other half doesn’t feel bad, or because they want to keep some money for themselves but don’t think they have the right to withhold anything from their partner or family); women who don’t ask how much their partners’ bonuses were or what he’s done with it; strange, asymmetric relationships in outgoings – she pays for all daily, weekly, monthly expenses, perhaps, while it’s understood he will pay for ‘big stuff’ – that somehow always seems to leave her out of pocket and him with enough to put away in a pension or to fund some ‘vital’ hobby. And that’s long before we get into the unquestionably murky waters of people who assure you that it is ‘better’ if you keep your name off the rent book, lease, deeds, ISA or holiday account, or aren’t named as an insurance beneficiary, and so deviously on.

Lucy Mangan: “Money can reveal a lot about your partner”