In his beautiful, elegiac novel Grief is the Thing with Feathers, Max Porter tells the story of a husband who has lost his wife, and two young boys who have lost their mother. The book is full of quotes about grief and trauma that ring sharply true, but perhaps the most incisive is this: “Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people, because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. The pain that is thrust upon us let no man slow or speed or fix.”

Grief is the Thing with Feathers reminds us all that there is no one way that we can or should mourn the loss of a loved one. But inevitably, there will always be people who judge others’ grieving processes; who decide that they are, somehow, not performing their sadness in an appropriate manner. And unfortunately, Sophie Perry – the daughter of Riverdale and Beverly Hills, 90210 actor Luke Perry, who died from a stroke on 4 March – has already had to contend with these grief-shamers.

On Instagram, Perry wrote that she had “received a lot of attention online” in the wake of her father’s death. “Most of it has been positive but of course, some people just can’t be nice.”

Sophie Perry is right: there is no one appropriate way to grieve