As I entered my teens I began to embrace my new curves a little more. They weren’t going away so I knew I’d better get a handle on them. Aged 13, I asked my mum if I could go and buy a real bra. We finally went to get one and I was a 34D. I felt rather smug about that as she hadn’t thought I needed a bra yet. Suddenly I had a proper bra size and they sounded like they weren’t too small, either. This was what I wanted, right?

My friends and I spent most of our late teens wearing Wonderbras. All we wanted was a killer cleavage. God, they were uncomfy. Fortunately my 20s introduced me to getting properly measured, balconettes, comfort and a happier, less aggressive rack.

I think all sizes have pros and cons. I have experienced mine big and small. With my pregnancies I’ve got to try out having massive boobs. Quite fun and I always miss them a little when they go. That said, what I have now is fine. A handful but not out of hand.

So what’s round the corner? I hope we still have some fun times ahead. I will still be hoisting them in bras, possibly feeding another baby one day and checking them for lumps. When all is said and done, it’s the serious side of boobs it comes down to. I hope they stay healthy. I really do miss my grandma.”

From The Booby Trap And Other Bits And Boobs, edited by Dawn O’Porter (£7.99, Hot Key Books).

£1 from the sale of each book will go to Breast Cancer Care, Breakthrough Breast Cancer and CoppaFeel!

Me, my breasts and I