Soon-to-be dads, listen up: don't even think about uttering the phrase, "We're pregnant" - because, as Mila Kunis so succinctly puts it: "Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? No."
The 30-year-old actress, who is expecting her first child with fiancé Ashton Kutcher, got her rant on about those three potent words in a hilarious appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! this week.
Host and fellow expectant parent Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the tirade, by saying: "My wife and I are pregnant... We are having a baby very soon as well."
To which Kunis narrowed her eyes and replied sarcastically: "Oh, you're both are having a baby? You and your wife are pregnant?"
She then pretended to storm off before grabbing a mic and taking to the stage for her pointed diatribe:
"Hello, I'm Mila Kunis, with a very special message for all you soon-to-be fathers,. Stop saying, 'We're pregnant.' You're not pregnant!" she cried.
"Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No.
"When you wake up and throw up, is it because you're nurturing a human life? No.
"It's because you had too many shots of tequila. Do you know how many shots of tequila we had? None. Because we can't have shots of tequila."
"We can't have anything because we've got your little love goblin growing inside of us. All you did was roll over and fall asleep."
Mila Kunis was joined by a host of pregnant ladies on the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show
The Oz the Great and Powerful star was then joined by a group of pregnant mums-to-be eating ice-cream, and declared: "You're not pregnant. We are."
Rant over, she returned to the stage with her ice-cream tub in tow, asking Kimmel: "Any questions?"
"Can I have some ice cream?" he quipped in reply.
Mila and Ashton at an event in January this year
Kunis confirmed her pregnancy with 36-year-old Kutcher in an appearance on Ellen Degeneres' chat show last month.
The actress said she didn't know whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, and wouldn't confirm when exactly it was due.
She did however, admit to having cravings, saying: "I eat sauerkraut all day long."
She said Kutcher had helped her on the food front:
"He assumed that I was gonna have goofy cravings, so he stocked our secondary fridge with weird food," she said.
"Just like pickles and sauerkraut, or like anchovies and ice creams. Just in case at one point during this pregnancy I'd be like I really want something."
Mila flaunts her bump at the Third Person film premiere in Los Angeles earlier this month
Sources close to the couple say they are waiting for their baby to be born before tying the knot.
Meanwhile, they have brought a $10 million (£6 million) home in Beverly Hills to prepare for the youngster's arrival.
Images: YouTube and Rex Features