Queer Eye’s Bobby Berk expertly explains why self-love is so vital

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Kayleigh Dray
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Queer Eye's Bobby Berk portrait

Five Minute Philosopher is a weekly series in which Stylist gets profound with people we love. What will Bobby Berk (better known as Queer Eye’s interiors wizard) make of our existential questions?

What is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life, I think, is just about loving yourself. When you love yourself, you can love other people better. And if you can’t love yourself, then how the hell are you going to love anybody else? The meaning of life should always be love. 

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What is the difference between right and wrong?

Opinion, always.

Where is your happy place?

At home with my husband [surgeon Dewey Do].

Nature or nurture?

A little bit of both, to be honest. It’s very hard to come down on one side with that one.

Is it more important to be liked or respected?

In business, it’s important to be respected. In life? Liked. I think in life, if you’re liked, you are usually respected, but it doesn’t always work that way in business.

If you could be remembered for one thing what would it be?

That I was nice (and liked, and respected!).

Who or what is your greatest love?

My husband.

When did you last tell a lie?

I’m sure it was something on the red carpet last night that I complimented someone on…

Does the supernatural exist?

I have never experienced it personally, so I don’t know for sure. I’m definitely not one of those very logical people: if I haven’t experienced it then I don’t necessarily believe it doesn’t exist. But it does still need to be proven to me.

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Are you fatalistic?

What does that mean? That everything is already written in the stars? Then no, I think we make our own destiny, and I think we make our own fate.

Animals or babies?


What is your greatest fear?

Losing my parents.

What talent do you yearn for?

I wish I could play the piano.

Do you like to be complimented?

Compliments usually make me uncomfortable.

Do you have a high pain threshold?


What book do you recommend most to others?

Oh god, I haven’t had time to read a book in the last few years. Maybe the Bible? No I’m kidding – you should see your face! Off the top of my head I can’t think of one. I honestly haven’t picked up a book as we’ve been filming for like the last three years.

Which lesson has been hardest to learn?

Definitely that I can’t do everything. On Queer Eye they asked me if I wanted to take the heroes [of each episode] shopping and I said no, because I had to do the houses – and then I watched the first series and I was like, oh, I’m not in this. I’ve had to learn to delegate.

What food most sums up happiness?

Vietnamese food. 

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What have you never understood?

How people can believe in religion.

What is the one thing you want to know before you die?

If there’s life out there. I would love to have it proven to me.

Are you scared of dying or what happens when you die?

Not really, because I kind of believe in reincarnation. My parents told me that when I was two years old, I would say I was 20 “before I was born”. I used to tell them all these stories about when I was 20 – which makes it seem like that was when I died in my past life. So I kind of believe you come back, and that’s why you should believe in karma.

Quinoa or Quavers?

I want the Quavers, but I would probably end up having the quinoa. How about a quinoa Quaver? 

Photography: Netflix

Images: Instagram 


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Kayleigh Dray

Kayleigh Dray is Stylist’s digital editor-at-large. Her specialist topics include comic books, films, TV and feminism. On a weekend, you can usually find her drinking copious amounts of tea and playing boardgames with her friends.

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