Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick recently celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary – but, when asked for the secret to their happy marriage, the Sex and the City star decided to keep things real.
Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick dated for five years before they tied the knot in a surprise New York wedding ceremony.
Since then, the two have become parents to eight-year-old twins Tabitha and Loretta, as well as their 15-year-old son, James Wilkie. And, while many have dubbed the long-lasting Hollywood couple as #relationshipgoals, the Sex and the City star has always made a point of being honest about her marriage.
So, when she was recently asked if there was a specific moment she realised Broderick was ‘The One’, the real-life Carrie Bradshaw dropped an impressively blasé answer on her interviewer.
“I never thought about it,” she told People.
“And I never thought about a wedding dress. Never. Had not one daydream about it.”
However, when pressed for more details, SJP did begrudgingly admit that she fell for her husband “fairly early on” in their relationship.
“At one point I just simply remember thinking, ‘God, I really hope he asks me to marry him,’” she said simply.
“I don’t know when or why. It was fairly early on.”
It’s not the first time that SJP has dismissed rumours of a ‘fairy-tale romance’: in 2016, she insisted that the secret to her happy marriage – and the only secret – is that “I really like my husband”.
“When I think about the long-term, I’m always like, ‘Well, he and I will be sitting in those chairs over there,’” she said at the time.
“But I don’t know how you get there.”
The Divorce star continued: “I think the beauty of a good marriage is that you’re not feeling this sort of soufflé thing…the courtship or honeymoon period. Nothing is ever going to be like that again. But marriage isn’t really about that. It’s about feeling invested in someone in a way that you never expected.
“Anything good that happens to my husband, it fills me up. It makes me so happy. His disappointments are mine. I would take on his disappointments if I could.”
SJP allowed that she and Broderick – like so many other couples – do fight. However, they always come together after their arguments and attempt to work through their differences together.
And this is incredibly healthy: in fact, John Gottman, a professor of psychology who specialises in marital stability, has revealed that we need to avoid “the four horsemen of the apocalypse” when fighting with our partners.
- Criticism (framing complaints in the context of a defect in your partner)
- Contempt (name calling, eye rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humour)
- Defensiveness (making excuses to explain away your actions)
- Stonewalling (withdrawing from a conversation, even if physically present)
Gottman also encourages couples to stop using the word “you” in arguments, and choosing instead to use the word “I” – and to work on their marriage each and every single day, rather than just when it is in trouble.
“Reunite at the end of the day and talk about how it went,” he says. This will help to bleed off stress from the day, and stop it from negatively affecting your relationship.
Images: Rex Features