The Queer Eye team is full of helpful advice – and if you’re heading into the New Year single, Jonathan Van Ness has just the message you need.
Heading into a new year single can be equal parts exciting and daunting – especially if you’ve recently broken up with someone. The year has so much potential – but facing it alone can also seem pretty scary when you’re fresh out of a long term relationship.
If this sounds familiar, then you’ll be pleased to hear that Queer Eye favourite Jonathan Van Ness has some words of wisdom to give you.
Van Ness recently ended his relationship with ex-boyfriend Wilco Froneman – and in a post on Instagram on New Year’s Day, said he was “learning more and more every day” about love.
“Let me tell you something I’ve learned the hard way time and time again,” he wrote. “Giving myself fully to people who don’t deserve it continues to bear very bitter fruit. Focusing on giving myself attention, nurturing, and so much compassion will always bear gorgeous fruit.”
Van Ness previously announced that he had split from Froneman on Instagram, using lyrics from Ariana Grande’s already iconic break-up anthem thank u, next.
“Rounding out my 2018 with a very gorg THANK U NEXT,” he wrote, adding the hashtag #selflove. “Please don’t go in on Wilco, he doesn’t need the anger and I don’t want to see him suffer, so just know I’m all good and sometimes people break up – Love you all so much.”
It’s not the first time Van Ness has used his platform to talk about his personal life – he’s also opened up about his use of anti-depressants.
“When I came off them, I quit cold turkey,” he said. “It was, like, six months of psychotic depression.”
“The biggest thing about self-care is to be gentle with yourself and remember there’s no one way up that mountain. Maybe don’t take advice from this interview about what you should do with antidepressants, because I don’t know you,” he said.
And speaking of there being no one way up the mountain, JVN also revealed to Bustle that his version of self care is to watch women’s team gymnastics and figure skating competitions from the 1980s.
“When I’m really feeling bleak, I’ll go back [and watch …] old figure skating and gymnastics competition videos, because I really need those to get through. Like I really do,” he said.
Van Ness’ advice when it comes to love? Focus on giving yourself “attention, nurturing and compassion”, something he says “will always bear gorgeous fruit”.
“Why henny? Because the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have, it’s the only one you will have consistently. Don’t forget that.”
We couldn’t agree more – and it’s the perfect love lesson to take into 2019 and beyond.