“The couple is keeping things very hush hush but their friends and family are super excited for them,” one such source shared with JustJared, who was first to report the news. Another so-called insider added, “Sophie has decidedly been choosing outfits to wear on and off the carpet to accommodate her changing body.”

Elsewhere, E! Online, self-professed oracle of celebrity news, decided to get in on the action by insisting that multiple sources have confirmed the news to them. Although, we hasten to add, none of these sources were speaking officially on behalf of Jonas or Turner.

I get it, I really do. The world is full of bad news at the moment, and a celebrity baby announcement feels like the perfect antidote to all of those Brexit and Coronavirus reports. And yet…

If the Turner and Jonas baby news is false

You guessed it: once again, the media has fed into that age-old toxic narrative (you know, the one that says a woman’s primary goal in life is to breed? That one) and encouraging us to scrutinise women’s bodies for any sign of change.

As Jennifer Aniston – who has been the subject of countless “IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE PREGNANT?” articles – once famously noted: “The sheer amount of resources being spent by press trying to simply uncover whether or not [a celebrity is] pregnant (for the bajillionth time… but who’s counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children…

“We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own ‘happily ever after’ for ourselves.”

Amen, sister.

If the Turner and Jonas baby news is true

Well, then it poses an even bigger question: why couldn’t the world wait for the couple to announce the news themselves, in their own bloody time? Because, let’s face it, nobody’s going to win a Pulitzer for this entirely unnecessary exposé.

Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas: stop with the unverified pregnancy reports already