In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to say things you don’t really mean. When our feelings are hurt and we’re feeling attacked, throwing random insults can often feel like the only option available.

But just because you don’t really mean what you’re saying, doesn’t mean those words won’t make an impact. Not only can they hurt the person at the receiving end, but they can also cause long-term damage to your relationships.

So, while the emotional intensity of an argument can make it hard to stay in control, it’s important to set boundaries and take a step back where necessary. And that’s where a brilliant new post from the life coach, boundaries expert and author Michelle Elman comes in.

Arguments: do you tend to lash out when you’re angry? Here’s how to tell someone you need space to calm down