It’s more common than we think. Research by the Kinsey Institute found that two-thirds of all couples in the study indulged in baby talk as a way to express intimate affection. And it appears to be a communication style more likely to be used by women, according to consultant psychologist Dr Elena Touroni.

“This tendency can be attributed to societal norms where being sweet and childlike is more closely aligned with the idea of ‘traditional’ femininity. In contrast, men might feel pressured to conform to more ‘macho’ ideals, but it’s important to note that men also use baby talk, though it may be less common or socially accepted.”

As well as leaning into stereotypical feminine behaviours, the use of baby voice in relationships can also stem from experiences we’ve had in childhood, particularly when it comes to how our parents communicated with us when we were young. Dr Touroni explains it’s a learned behaviour frequently associated with affection and care. “Adults might use this voice in various situations, such as to express needs or desires, as it can convey a sense of innocence or sweetness. This method of communication can be a way of embodying the more childlike part of ourselves, possibly making it easier to elicit a caring response from others.”

But this particular kind of voice and speech also has a physical effect on our brains, according to Dr Bajaj. “When adults use this type of speech, it activates specific neural pathways associated with emotional processing and social bonding.” In other words, the parts of our brain involved in regulating our emotions are heightened when baby voice is used, helping to “build emotional connections and facilitate bonding” in relationships.

Amelia*,29, sometimes catches herself using baby voice with her boyfriend as a way to show affection. “I don’t really know why I dip into it but it feels like a nice and warm way to show him I love and care about him – I do find it weird though.”

Having used baby voice with both the men and women they’ve dated, 27-year-old Sam* uses it when they “say something embarrassing” or if they’re trying to have an intimate conversation with a partner. “As someone who’s anxious avoidant [someone who struggles with intimacy and emotional expression], that’s how I communicate,” they explain. They add that men seem to find it slightly odd and awkward but tend to go along with it; the women they’ve dated in the past, however, have “absolutely hated it”.

The surprising science behind baby voice in relationships