Todd Baratz, who wrote the hard-truths post, is a licensed mental health counsellor, certified sex therapist and relationship expert. He goes by @yourdiagnonsense on Instagram and delivers some relationship pills that may be difficult to swallow directly to your feed.

His post ‘Relationship myths to unlearn ASAP’ indicates the urgency needed in this quest to find happiness in our partnerships. His caption reads: “Relationships are highly cultural… Expand your mind. Get rid of the black and white rules. Find nuance.”

“True love is unconditional – FALSE,” reads his first slide. Before delivering an extremely real truth: “Unconditional love is between a parent and child, not adult partners.” He says this myth is “based on a fantasy” and it is a recipe for disaster if you live in denial with unrealistic expectations. The first mythbuster caused quite a stir in the comments after users said unconditional love between a parent and child is also idealistic.

According to Baratz, we shouldn’t solve all conflicts that arise in our relationships. “Not all conflicts are solvable, nor should a relationship be thought of as a conflict solving machine,” his next slide reads. He says conflicts give importance to repairing, connecting, and feeling close in the pairing. These are “more important than finding solutions to the conflict,” Baratz says.

Common relationship myths: this Instagram post sums up all the things we need to unlearn about dating