It was approaching Christmas, and I had a feeling of dread that another year was going to pass with me feeling miserable and alone. I hadn’t been working for about a year and missed the buzz of having flirtations with my male colleagues. I didn’t realise how much that kind of attention put a spring in my step until I’d get home to a silent husband. I found an extramarital dating site called Illicit Encounters and made myself a profile. I didn’t know what to expect and was terrified.

I dipped my toe in slowly at first and went on a few ‘dates’ that didn’t really go anywhere, but after a couple of months of chatting to different people, I met David*. We had an instant connection: we’d constantly message back and forth about the films we loved, what we’d done that day, and even boring stuff like what we were having for dinner. We’d also have deep conversations – the kind that I’d try to have with my husband, but would only receive a monosyllabic response. It was amazing just to be able to talk to someone about my life and feel like they wanted to listen to me and share things with me.

It sounds cheesy, but meeting David brought me back to life. The first time we met in person, we had coffee together, and it dawned on me afterwards that I hadn’t laughed that much in years. It was like a weight had been lifted from me, and I realised just how much I was missing out on. I’d been struggling with my mental health and feeling down; I was a shadow of my former self. But with David, it feels like I’m finally getting what I signed up for when I married my husband: fun, laughter, attention and affection. Being able to have sex again after so long is also a huge part, but I love the fact that I have someone to send songs to or make plans with.

“Having a year-long affair has made my relationship better – here’s how”