When did you get that text?
It was a couple of weeks after we’d decided to call it off, but obviously that didn’t quite go very smoothly because we lived together and also ran a business together. We’d started sleeping in separate bedrooms and were trying our best just to get by as easily as possible until we were able to separate properly. He was out one night and it was getting late. I’d dropped him a text to ask what time he was coming home before I locked up. He didn’t reply, so I tried to call a couple of times but no answer. I messaged one more time and then he sent me that message telling me to stop.

How did you feel?
I was pissed off! I was trying to be cordial and was angry that he wasn’t accepting of the fact that I just wanted to know when he was going to be back.

I know he saw it as me trying to be too involved in his life even though we weren’t a couple anymore, but in my mind isn’t it just a courteous thing to keep each other in the loop when you’re still living with each other?

The real kicker was that there were rumours going around our town about him cheating on me, which a couple of mutual friends had asked me about when we told people we weren’t together anymore. I was really angry because I didn’t think it was fair for him to automatically get the blame for our breakup. His last relationship ended because he cheated, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he’d done the same all these years later.

About a week after that text from him, though, I found out that he was already in another relationship with someone else. I don’t know for sure that it started while we were still together, but my gut is telling me that it did. I think that’s the bit that still upsets me the most.

Did you reply?
I think I said something like ‘grow up’ which, in hindsight, wasn’t very helpful.

Would you consider getting back together?
No, it’s still too fresh right now.

What did you learn from the relationship (and its demise)?
I think I settled for too many things without really thinking about what’s important to me. One of my friends said that I like living in limbo because then no one gets hurt and as rubbish as it is to admit, I think she was right. I never want to rock the boat in case something bad happens, but nothing good came of that in my relationship in the end.

Current relationship status:
Single and moved back in with parents.

Last text from my ex: “I defended his bad behaviour and it came back to bite me”