What’s the best way to ask these questions and get the most out of them?

Kennan says she knows immediately if couples counselling is a waste of time. “I will be brutally honest if I think someone has already checked out of the relationship,” says Keenan. Signs include body language, eye contact and one person not making time or space to work on the relationship – these things suggest that couples therapy may not work.

“However, I will work with hope,” says Keenan, explaining that part of that hope involves being up for putting in the work to solve issues in a relationship. “You need to be invested in doing the work and be willing to change things.” If there is hope, couples are more likely to dedicate time to ask each other the questions that will improve the relationship.

“It’s important to set aside time to ask questions and practise ‘active listening’,” says Keenan. “A lot of the time we don’t take in what people are saying, so really listen to someone’s answers. An easy way of doing this is to summarise what the other person has said as you go through the questions.”

Reframing how we talk to a partner can also help rebuild communication. For example, if we always revert to saying ‘You need to do this,’ we could change the phrasing to ‘I feel we need to do this.’ “This reframing makes statements into less of a criticism and allows people to be open with each other,” says Keenan.

A couples therapist reveals the 10 questions every woman should ask her partner for a better relationship