“It was all about showing how much better he was than me”

“On my first date with Jack* I told him that I was the adventurous and outdoorsy type that enjoyed mountain biking. He quizzed me about my capabilities and it was clear that he was desperate to tell me about how much more biking he had done, but he told me to bring my bike on our next date.

“I was expecting a woodland trail, but it was clear from the 10-mile uphill ride he’d organised for us that he evidently wanted to show me just how good he was. He spent the entire time cycling about a mile and a half in front of me, waiting for me to catch up only to speed off again. He didn’t wait for me at any point until right at the end, where he made it very clear that he’d arrived a lot faster than I had. It was raining, I was soaked and looked like a puffing beetroot. It’s safe to say I declined a third date.

“Surely, if you’re on a date, you actually want to spend some time with the other person? But this was hardly a date; instead, it was an opportunity for him to prove how much better he was than me, rather than sharing a mutual interest. It was all about the ego and machismo of proving himself.”

Naomi, 37, Hertfordshire

Done That dating is the frustratingly competitive behaviour ruining our love lives