Y: The world has a lot of catching up to do. Even just the fact that it’s logistically more difficult to be single – say if you wanted to get a flat or a hotel room, you’re paying double. If you’re looking to buy somewhere with a friend rather than a partner, you’re actually less likely to get it. It’s not as easy to pool your resources with a lifelong friend or tie yourself to them legally, even though those relationships tend to last longer and be more stable than romantic ones.

M: It’s so true. Being single has allowed me to be more intentional in all areas of my life. I used to date out of fear. I come from a South Asian background and I’d hear a lot of scaremongering about how I wouldn’t be able to do life by myself. The immediate response to me being single was, ‘But who’s going to look after you when you get old?’ as if finding someone and having kids is some sort of retirement plan. The whole argument of ‘dying alone’ is used to manipulate you.

Y: That’s tough, and I think those projections and expectations are something I’m lucky to have avoided. I knew from a young age that I wasn’t going to have the traditional set-up (my friend recently reminded me that when we were kids, she’d talk about her future husband and I’d talk about being their roommate) and that freed me from typical timeline pressures. I’ve been able to build my life in the way I want, no blueprint.

C: That is, really, what everyone should feel able to do, isn’t it? I’ve been living in the US and we are seeing a conservative push towards the whole ‘tradwife’ movement and the idea that a woman’s role is to get married and have babies. Narratives about single people having great, full lives are crucial so people can free themselves from the pressure of what their parents want, what their friends are doing, and think about what would actually make them happy.

J: A word that’s been coming to me again and again since I became single is ‘authentic’: I’d never really known who I was until I made this decision to spend time with myself. Now that’s my focus, trying to live authentically, and I think if everybody was able to lead with that we’d have a much happier society. Celebrating being single is powerful for everyone, because it gives everyone a genuine choice.

When single is the final stop: 4 women discuss why they’re not dating in 2025