Defined by the experts at VeryWellMind as “the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions”, it involves not just expressing your own feelings but understanding, interpreting and responding to the emotions of others.

Having empathy for others, displaying self-awareness, accepting responsibility for your actions and setting boundaries when you need to are all considered key pillars of emotional intelligence.

And it makes sense. A partner will never be able to read your mind, but it’s important that they can pick up on the signs when you’re feeling low, need support or that they need to tread carefully. When someone doesn’t notice, it can make you feel misunderstood or neglected.

“When we’re dating we usually want someone kind and compassionate, but that doesn’t always translate to who we end up dating,” Puja McClymont, a life and business coach, tells Stylist.

“If we are all more emotionally intelligent, we are less likely to have excessive arguments with our partners. We will be more aware of allowing them space to air their grievances and then choose how we want to respond, rather than reacting to what we’re hearing.”

Relationship psychology: how emotional intelligence became the most desirable trait for daters in 2022