How to handle an enmeshed relationship

If you find yourself in such a relationship and want to change the dynamic, it is possible to do so, but Fraser emphasises that it will take time.

“Healthy relationships are founded on equality, mutual respect, open communication, honesty, trust and compromise. Parties in the relationship respect each other’s independence and can make their own decisions without fear of reprisal,” she says.

While the first step is to recognise what’s unhealthy, dependent and unfulfilling about the relationship, Fraser advises looking at setting foundational boundaries such as being treated with respect, sharing your feelings, stating what you need and spending time apart.

“Stating what behaviour is or is not acceptable to you and what your needs are can leave the other person in no doubt – and the situation is improved when both parties share their boundaries.

“Boundaries are specific and personal to you. No two people’s boundaries will be the same. Each and every relationship will demand a slightly different tweak and you cannot control how the other person will react to your new approach and boundaries.”

Enmeshed relationships: what are they and why can they be so toxic?