Every friendship has its own regularities: how often you hangout, activities you like to do together, preferred means of communication and more.

But a mismatch of attachment styles can cause issues in any of our relationships – including our platonic ones. A friend with an anxious attachment style, for example, may be offended by their avoidant friend being noncommittal with plans. On the other hand, an avoidant person may find the constant need for communication with an anxious friend too clingy.

“Securely attached people being friends with other securely attached people is the friendship that tends to be most healthy, although many other factors come into play too, of course,” explains Alderson. “Securely attached people are also easily able to build friendships with those who display anxious and avoidant attachment styles.”

“Two anxiously attached friends often fulfil certain needs related to their attachment style, and they usually have an intense friendship. It’s unlikely to be healthy though,” says Alderson. On the flip side, two avoidantly attached friends will likely have a “low-maintenance, casual friendship that lacks intimacy”.

“Avoidantly attached people often find it hard to form friendships with those who are anxiously attached because they can feel overwhelmed.”

This is how attachment styles can affect your friendships