The other day, my friend from university and I were bent double in a cafe, sniggering into our flat whites over the questionable outfit choices we used to make as students, when it struck me that my friends fall into three categories.

There are the wonderful ones, like her, who I have a shared history with, and we spend most of our time together reminiscing about the people we used to know and the things we used to do. Then there are the friends who are very much present in my day-to-day life, who I will go to first if I’ve had a rough day at work or need some advice. The final category is the friends with whom I dream big about the future: we put the world to rights, plan our lives and egg each other on to go for the promotion or make that move.

Of course, some of my friendships transcend these boxes, but on the whole I seem to have three types: the ones rooted in the past, the ones focused on the present and the ones that are all about the future. Most of us, to some degree, settle into these dynamics in our relationships, and I wonder what it tells us about ourselves and the way we relate to our friends. Are all of these friendship archetypes helpful, and are they healthy?

These are the questions I put to Dr Annie Zimmerman, psychotherapist and author of the upcoming book Your Pocket Therapist. Here’s what she had to say about past, present and future-facing friendships.

There are 3 types of friendships, but which category does yours fall into?