Everyone has those old friends that somehow faded out of their lives – friends who move or simply drift away. And every now and then, we all consider reaching out. But getting back in touch with an old friend isn’t always easy. In fact, as it turns out, many of us actively shy away from reaching out to old friends.

A new study, conducted by Lara Aknin and Gillian Sandstrom, researchers from Simon Fraser University and the University of Sussex, examined the psychological reasons why we so often hesitate to contact old friends.

“We live in a time when people are more and more disconnected and have fewer close friends than they used to in years past,” explained Sandstrom to Psychology Post. “And this is despite the multitude of modern-day communication channels available to us. With research finding that it takes more than 200 hours of contact to turn a new acquaintance into a close friend, we wanted to find out if and why people were overlooking another pathway to meaningful connection: reviving pre-existing close friendships.”

Why do we find it so hard to reach out to old friends?