If you’re worried about how to turn a work colleague or a mutual friend into a proper pal, then who better to ask than the Lonely Girls Club founder herself? Here are her eight tips for making newfound connections go the distance.

Friendships can take time

It’s important to remember trial and error is a major part of new friendships, says Cooke, and you won’t become close friends overnight. “Depending on your personality and how many times you’ve already hung out with this person, then either low pressure, casual hangouts or group hangouts are a great way to help develop a friendship.” These casual meet-ups could be a quick drink after work or inviting them to a larger gathering so they can feel more at ease and integrated into a group.

And if a friendship feels like it’s taking a while? “Try asking them to do something for a longer part of the day,” Cooke says. She also shares that being honest can go a long way, too. “Tell that person you enjoy spending time with them and it’s a friendship you’d love to develop more. They might feel the same way too; it just needs one of you to break the ice.”

Prep some questions just in case the conversation becomes repetitive

“Something I’ve noticed in my many years of watching people connect at our events is that you can end up having the same sort of surface-level conversations over and over when you’re getting to know someone new,” she says. To remedy this, Cooke introduced conversation starter bingo cards at her events so that members have a few different ideas of what to chat about outside of the typical small talk topics, including questions around TV shows, books and favourite things to see and do in the city.

Like a job interview, having two or three questions or topics ready can calm the nerves and make you feel a little more confident. “If you find the conversation is beginning to dry up, a great and easy question to ask someone is what book they’re reading,” she says. “I see women pulling books out of their bags on a regular basis at our events, and suddenly, the conversation has gone on for an hour.”

It takes time to be open and honest with people but after the second or third hangout, you can start to delve into deeper topics such as love and relationships, Cooke says. “The more comfortable you get with each other and the more times you hang out, the more natural the conversation becomes.”

Use common interests to suggest a second meet-up

If you’re interested in becoming friends with a work colleague, the easiest thing to do is to see if they want to hang out after work. “You could suggest going to a nearby restaurant or bar together, or see if they want to have lunch together one day, even if it’s just in the office,” Cooke says.

Connecting your second meet-up to a shared interest or something you’ve both talked about previously is a great place to start. “If you like the same kind of music, films or activities (that maybe other people in your lives aren’t as into) you could suggest going to a gig or activity class together, and then add a coffee or meal before or after, so you have more time to properly talk too.”

Your niche interests aren’t too ‘weird’

“In one of our forums, there was a person who posted that they wanted to try paddle boarding. She received around 15 replies and a group of them ended up going paddle boarding together. Nothing is too niche or ‘weird’ an interest; there will always be someone out there who’ll want to share in it with you,” Cooke says.

A specific interest can sometimes feel quite lonely, and joining a dedicated climbing group or going to a gaming club can feel intense, but meeting a new friend who shares a hobby can be a brilliant bonding experience. “What I’ve learned through the years of the Lonely Girls Club is there’s always someone out there with a similar interest or desire to you.”

8 surprising ways to meet new friends as an adult, according to the founder of the Lonely Girls Club