It’s a question that I’ve asked myself a lot recently. Shortly after my daughter was born, my former partner created a situation that meant it was impossible for me to remain cohabiting with him, and I became a single parent almost overnight. The life I’d dreamed of – family holidays, multiple children, two careers flourishing in tandem – disappeared. My health, finances and career were decimated. And I’ve never had a meaningful apology for any of it.

Sure, occasionally, when we have to be in the same place, I will lose my temper and point all of this out, explaining why I’m so upset, begging for recognition for what happened and how it damaged me. But we all know that any apology you demand is meaningless. It’s been over a year of asking, telling and sometimes shouting about how I deserve a proper apology, and I still haven’t had one. Eventually, I concluded that it was only hurting one person: me. And so, with the help of my therapist, I’m trying to move forward.

It’s a question that Jessica*, a 29-year-old marketing manager from Oxfordshire, has also asked herself. I’ve known Jessica for several years, during which time she had a pretty dreadful situation unfold with her former housemate. After two years of living together, it transpired that said housemate had been stealing from Jessica, taking money from her wallet, charging her extra for bills, lying about how much the rent was supposed to be and taking her clothes to sell online. She once faked a burglary and took Jessica’s laptop, which she also sold.

The theft only came to light when Jessica told a mutual friend what was happening, as if it was funny, even showing her the eBay account she was using to sell Jessica’s belongings. Jessica was, unsurprisingly, devastated. She says: “When I found out what happened, I calmly confronted her to try to understand why she had done this. And the next day, she moved out. She blocked me on every single platform and stopped paying her half of our rent. I could have gone after her through legal routes, but I had no idea how to find her and I couldn’t face it. I’ve never spoken to her or seen her since.”

We crave apologies from people who’ve wronged us – so how can we move on without getting one?